Varied Translations

Translations:

#1:As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.

• the "as" makes it seem as though this is a continuation of a story
• long sentence, unbroken by commas, creates the idea of the one moment where Samsa figured out that he had changed
• "Gigantic insect" = negatively connoted words, provides imagery

#2:Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug.

• seems like a typical, third-person omniscient first sentence for a children's/middle school story 
• syntax =short, direct, leads to questions 
• word "changed" implies that Samsa's transformation was of someone else's doing
• "giant bug" creates a more informal tone, makes it trivial, provides imagery

 #3:When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.

• typical, third-person omniscient first sentence for an adult novel ("awoke," "troubled dreams one morning")
•  more complex sentence structure
• "in his bed" seems unnecessary
• Diction: enormous makes Samsa's problem more serious

#4:One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.

• seems like an adult novel: syntax is long but very fragmented by commas
• "agitated dreams" = personification; seems as though dreams foreshadowed his fate or helped cause it
• "in his bed" seems unnecessary or misplaced
• Diction: monstrous and vermin have very negative connotations, don't imply an insect but an otherworldly creature; imagery

Original: Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheuren Ungeziefer verwandelt.

Google Translation (putting entire sentence into translator):

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed into a monstrous vermin in his bed.

 Google Translation paralleling German structure:

As Gregor Samsa one morning from uneasy dreams awoke, he found himself in his bed transformed into a monstrous vermin.



Even small shifts in punctuation and wording change the entire meaning of this first sentence.  The first and fourth translations are the most serious and have the most urgent tone, and this is seen through the long syntax and descriptors for the insect Samsa turned into.  "Gigantic" and "monstrous" insects and vermin have more severe connotations than "giant" and "enormous" bugs. Gigantic insects are scary, and monstrous vermin sounds so alarming that it doesn't seem to even be an insect, but really an alien or monster.  So if the audience was reading the first and fourth sentences, a worried or concerned tone would be created because of the way the creature is described.  The first example has two more effects on the audience.  The word "as" gives the audience the sense that the sentence was continuing the middle of a story rather than beginning it.  Also, this sentence, along with the third and fourth sentences, used the word "transformed."  This implies that Samsa's shift is more natural than not, and doesn't spur as many questions immediately.  The second sentence is the most trivial sentence because of its short length and use of the more childish descriptors "giant" and "bug."  However, it succeeds in prompting questions from the audience because it's verb is "changed," implying that Samsa's shift was caused by something other than himself, and possibly caused by someone else.  Therefore, the subtleties of diction are seen to change the audience's view on the entire sentence.

The best translation in terms of aesthetics and diction is the fourth one.  The personification of dreams adds a nuance to the sentence; the idea that the dreams played into Samsa's transformation into the creature.  The syntax is slightly too fragmented by commas--it interrupts itself and may be confusing to the audience--but the words used to describe the creature are colorful, add much-needed imagery, and actually parallel the German sentence the best.  The sentence with the best translation structurally is the first one because of the use of "as," an extremely important subtlety that shifts the perspective of the story from one of beginnings to a conversation or the middle of a story.  The second and third sentences are the most easily read ones--the second so simplistic in diction and syntax/length that it could be the start of a middle school book; the third clear, direct, and using the past perfect ("had been transformed") that is more common for most English speakers than solely preterit ("himself transformed").  So the translations differ in how effective they are in portraying Kafka's seemingly urgent tone, his structural writing, or the frank idea of a person transforming into something other than human.  This is what makes translations so difficult, for the translator has to choose the issue that they believe is the most important for the audience.